in Morality, Rants

Interesting situation leads to troubling questions…

I seem to be on a roll with the blog posts this week. I’ve been quite encouraged by the comments you leave on the posts and twitter, thanks. Anyway today’s post is not the faint hearted and is rather explicit in nature but it’s important that I put this down because it got me asking some really really difficult questions. I just hope that I can tell the story well enough so you get what was going on clearly enough.

So last week on Wednesday I got in touch with one of my friends, lets call him Tee, after a long time (I’ve been underground I realise) and he said he was getting together with a couple of friends for drinks the next day at his dad’s crib. I accepted.

So the next day I head to Karen. I have to ask how anyone survives there without a car, the mats drop you at a stage then you walk several kilometres before you reach your house. So after that long walk in the sun I arrive to find the idiot hasn’t come home but luckily another friend, Lee, had already reached so we waited with him for Tee who appeared with the ladies a few minutes later. Their names are Ray, Sally and Angel.

I was shocked to see Ray here, that Tee had actually invited her. They’d had a really really bad break up in which Tee had found out that she had been cheating on him. Infact she’s the one who initiated the break up but, hey, I’m not one to judge.

It was lunch time so a bunch of us decided that we’d have lunch while I got reacquainted with Ray -meet her once before, didn’t like her- and familiar with Sally and Angel. Sally was particularly good looking with dark skin, which just made her look so exotic.


We went upstairs when we were done, there was another smaller sitting room up there (houses of the rich). Lee was acting as deejay and immediately got us started on some cool techno. We’d already open the vodka and the girls had mixed theirs with coke, I decided to go with shots. Soon the bottle was halfway and decreasing rapidly, mostly thanks to Sally and me we’d had several shots and were making the others join us. At some point we moved the coffee table so we’d have space to dance.

I can’t remember why or how but something totally cool happened. Angel and Ray started making out! I know if you’re a chic you’re either unimpressed or disgusted but a guy can appreciate how sexy this looked. They were on the floor kissing, grinding and touching each other. Me, Tee and Sally took out our phones and began to record the action… At some point Sally decided she wanted in and pushed Ray off and got on top of Angel. Ray took this chance to make out with Tee. At some point I think I told myself that I needed to get some air so I left the house to walk outside. in any case I had the sudden urge to fell grass in between my toes.

When I got back to the house you’ll never guess what I saw there… Nothing! Well not exactly LEE was there but who cares about him, right? Where were the honeys and Tee? Well they’d locked themselves in one of the rooms. I was like wtf?? He took all the honey’s and left Lee and me outside alone, to do what? Stare at each other? So I banged on the door and told him to chuck now or I’ll never forgive him!! He didn’t listen. Lee decided he wanted to hear what was going on in the room and killed the music so we could hear better and, OH MY, did we hear…moaning and groaning. I banged on the door and told Tee that it wasn’t fair to leave us outside like that.

This time he opened the door and I peeked into the room. One girl, I think it was Ray was topless, bra-less and had her skirt high up her chest, Angel also was topless and bra-less and in her underwear and Sally was just topless but I could see her bra was undone. Tee on the other hand was in his boxers.

So anyway Sally and Angel left the room, I remember that Ray looked as if she was leaving but then she reached the door and locked herself in with Tee. Outside LEE had already put the music back on and was dancing with Angel. Sally was dancing alone so I danced with her. Sally was just in her bra and Angel, who was really high (she’s a lightweight) had out on her bra on top of her shirt. At some point LEE and Angel started to make out and some really heavy petting was going on. I remember wandering if I should start making out with Sally at this point but I decided against it. Why? Read the end of this post to find out;) After a while Tee and Ray joined us from the room, I’ll leave you to guess what had just happened. Ray didn’t seem to be able to handle her alcohol to well and went to one of the bathrooms to puke.

Sally abandoned me and began to drag Tee back into the room, which she promptly locked. Angel and Lee were still doing their thing someplace (I could see them). I’ve just realised, in writing this, that I seemed to be doing a lot of nothing but watch but I swear I can’t remember what it was that I was doing but I know I was doing something because I remember hitting my head on the lower hanging chandelier but not how it happened:) Ray came back and began banging on the door of Tee’s room for him and Sally to come out. I began to think she still harboured some feelings for him. She was persistent until they chucked the room. Tee didn’t look too pleased.

At some point someone suggested body shots and Tee went down to get salt. I remember now that’s when I hit my head leaning over the railing:) When he came back Sally and Angel had started making out again and Ray went back to the bathroom. Tee, or maybe it was Sally took advantage of Ray’s absence and they both disappeared again. I didn’t see where they went this time because it was Angel and LEE who were in Tee’s room (the door was open). I went in to check on Ray who was still in the bathroom. At some point I think I helped her on to the bed then lay down beside her (it was a big bed). Lee and Angel came back in and Angel, after talking to me for a bit and asking my name, made out with me for a bit then, or I think Lee, decided to stop and they left.

I remained with Ray to keep an eye on her and keep her company. I kept asking her if she was feeling okay and if there was anything I could get her after all I am a gentleman. While I was talking to her she made a move on me, she put her hand down my jeans, and me being me kissed her, cupping her boobs in my hands and caressing them. Then I lifted her shirt and sucked in her boobs for a bit, All this time she’s moaning and her hand is still in my jeans rubbing against my cock. One of my hands on her thigh wandered up searching, caressing until I found her pussy, I out in two of my fingers and she moaned louder. Now while this was going on she out of now where begins to ask for Tee, never mind her hand is still down my jeans and she’s moaning. So I ask myself what would be the right thing to do here because it’s obvious she’s enjoying herself. I leave her alone and go look for Tee, who was still missing. When I got back Lee had decided he’s moving Ray to somewhere he could watch her. Nkt! Idiot!! Like I’d do anything after I had decided she didn’t really want me.

After this I went to the sitting room and blacked out on one of the couches. I was tired and high. Then these idiots woke me up and I had to go puke. SLeeping while you’re still high is not the best idea if you’re going to woken up at any point. I heard Ray banging at a door and shouting “OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!!! YOU CAN’T BE FUCKING TEE!!OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR NOW!!! I SWEAR YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE FUCKING IN THERE!” and later screaming “TEE’S MINE!! TEE’S MINE!! TEE’S MINE!!” Hilarious stuff! I was smiling in my sleep! I reminded myself to ask Tee whether he still knew she was still sprung on him.

So those are the adventures of Thursday last week. So let me draw you some key points that got me asking myself difficult questions. First, Tee had sex with at least two of these girls. Now what worries me is that I know his girlfriend and I like her. Usually I’d be the first to defend any of my boys cheating on their girlfriends but this time I was really bothered, why? Is it that I know her? Or that I actually like her? I found myself wondering if he thought or really cared about her. I really thought she’d be the one to temper his appetite.

Second, I kind of cock blocked Tee, that is totally against my nature, beliefs and the bro-code. Why did I do it? I’ve thought about it and apart from the fact that I was alone with LEE while he had all the mamas and that’s not fair. Its also the fact that always gets the hot babe whenever I’m there. Its pissing and damaging to my self esteem. But I’m coming to accept that’s the hazard of hanging out with him. This is impart with a one of my characteristics; that I think I’m the best at everything, that I want the best of everything. This is both a good and bad thing. And I never forget when I don’t do as well as I expected and set for myself.

Third, when things were getting hot and heavy with Ray. I actually considered ignoring what she was saying and going with what she was doing. And this by the way is the most important question: When did I become that guy? The guy who takes advantage of girls (this sounds like I mean rape but I don’t mean that) She’s saying no (or in my case asking for someone else) and I just keep going on because she’s also not stopping. Is it okay? When did I get so morally wrong I can be asking it? It scares me and I’ve been forced to ask myself what my boundaries really are…

Anyway I felt I had to get this out there, perhaps y’all can help me clear my thoughts on the questions I asked particularly the last few. Let me know what you think, feel or whatever in the comments, anything would be cool. This might the beginning of me putting personal stuff on my blog or just a random occurrence I’m not to sure. As always peace!!

16 Comments

  1. Thanks man! But the point of putting this here is to atleast get someone to TRY answer these questions.

  2. Dude! These things happen in real life? On a Thursday?? I seriously need to reassess my life and what I'm doing when everyone is busy living the life. *calling my girls immediately*

  3. Yeah its all real life! I still don't know how to write fiction yet. And it was a Thursday afternoon…

  4. Ok, as someone who may have been there done that…..was this sex protected? You can drink, have fun, but not make out and have sex with everyone around.

    It's like everyone was making out with everyone else, and having as much sex as they could. Am glad u stayed out.

    Don't go telling on ur friend, am sure the chick will find out sooner enough. And if he likes her, he's guilty enough already.

    Btw, I like the background of your blog

  5. Yeah I'm assuming so! I don't mind that I stayed its the questions that scare me. Thanks I like it too.

  6. haha,you need help.Just slice the nigga,everything you do must lead to benefits accrued to you

  7. I've asked myself the same question, only as the girl. You're making out or whatever, it feels good, and you know you should stop so you keep saying stuff like 'no' and 'this isn't right', but you're also not stopping. The last time that happened, I remember thinking, "What exactly will happen if I say no and actually mean it? Will the guy assume it's just like the noes (wtf is the plural of no?!) I've been saying all along. When does the line cross to rape? And if it did (God forbid) is it really rape, or is it my fault?"

    I think there's are moral line we're very close to crossing. It's time we reassess ourselves and the things we do. That's the best answer I can give you.

  8. Youknownoboody I think yours is the best comment so far. I have reassessed myself and I now konw, I think, my limits. But I still worry

  9. I've asked myself the same question, only as the girl. You're making out or whatever, it feels good, and you know you should stop so you keep saying stuff like 'no' and 'this isn't right', but you're also not stopping. The last time that happened, I remember thinking, "What exactly will happen if I say no and actually mean it? Will the guy assume it's just like the noes (wtf is the plural of no?!) I've been saying all along. When does the line cross to rape? And if it did (God forbid) is it really rape, or is it my fault?"

    I think there's are moral line we're very close to crossing. It's time we reassess ourselves and the things we do. That's the best answer I can give you.

  10. Ok, as someone who may have been there done that…..was this sex protected? You can drink, have fun, but not make out and have sex with everyone around.

    It's like everyone was making out with everyone else, and having as much sex as they could. Am glad u stayed out.

    Don't go telling on ur friend, am sure the chick will find out sooner enough. And if he likes her, he's guilty enough already.

    Btw, I like the background of your blog

Comments are closed.