I wrote this post immediately after that night described to read it like you were reading it immediately after:

So today, or is it yesterday? Oh yeah, its after 12. I have to right this before I forget it or lose psyke in the morning light. So yesterday I went to my boy’s, Jewlz, house for his birthday party. It was cool, actually it was very very cool. Meet a lot of new people, meet some old school buddy’s and had lots of fun. No it wasn’t as crazy or as wild as the last time I went drinking in Karen but still fun.

So what’s today’s post about? I’ve already said that I met some old high school buddies, so this post is about one of them. Lets call him Leo, after what I have to say about him you’ll see why I’m not using his real name. He reads my blog, by the way (good stuff, man!!), and already knows that I’m writing this but if he doesn’t like it I’ma take it down.

A little background on Leo. We went to the same school 3rd and 4th. He’s was always immaculately dressed and behaved. He’s clothes were always clean (we had one tap for like 1000 students), well ironed (you could cut your finger on the line on his trousers) and he had the whitest cleanest shirts in the whole school( I mentioned the one tap, right?). Oh and his grades were also really good and the teachers loved him.

Anyway while at the party somehow we began talking about lesbianism and then he goes ” I don’t like seeing chics make out” and I was in shock!!! WTF?!!! A dude who doesn’t like seeing chics make out? Really? Then he goes on to explain how he just doesn’t like gay shit. So the ladies at the party (who were also shocked,btw) go on to ask him a series of questions which I’m putting in Q&A style for simplicity’s sake:

Q: So if you walked into a room with two chics making out and they asked you to join, you would?
A: Refuse and walk back out the room

Q: Even if the chics were Kim Kardashian (can anyone tell me why this chic is famous?) and [insert hot model chic who’s name I can’t remember her]

A: I think Kim is a little too wild(???)
Q: Okay then Angelina Jolie?
A: No
Q: Okay would you have a one night stand?(I asked this)
A: Nope
Q: Would you have pre-marital sex within a relationship?
A: No
Q: Have you ever been in a relationship?
A: No

Q: Ever kissed a girl?

A: No
Q:So let me ask you this (this was me asking btw): Have you ever looked at a chic in a sexual way?
A: NO!!(????????)
At this point you can imagine how I and everyone else taking part in this conversation was. I was shouting in complete disbelief, incredulity(my voice is hoarse right now, even sexier than usual:), jumping up and down banging the table. The ladies of course began, joking or maybe seriously (I was tipsy), about how he was the man they’d been searching for. Someone called him gay-straight.
This dude has made a choice of how his lifestyle would be and that’s it. But all is not lost, he likes driving cars and playing PS2. And no he is not a kid he’s 20 years old. So I ask you my dear readers and followers what do you think? Do you believe what he said? Do you know anyone like this? Let me know in the comments. Oh yeah I know him and believe him, except for the very last question. Oh, I almost forgot, he isn’t planning on getting married:). As always peace!!!

Written by Sidney Ochieng

Child at heart and mind. Feminist. Story teller. Fledgling data scientist. Your future boss

13 Comments

joliea

Weuwee! 1st to comment!

From the info you've given, and in my most humble opinion, i sense something.

There is a high chance the guy is gay. All those facts somewhat lead to this conclusion. Most gay people who were initially deeply closeted somehow share a similar story. Am being honest and speaking of peeps I have met. They say all that and still say they hate gay issues. Why? Because they have deep deep internalized homophobia (yes! it exists!). Sadly, untill he questions why he holds such views, and his own lifestyle and tries not to mix it with societal views…then maybe he'll know where he lies. My advice, talk to him. Maybe he actually needs help! The facts you gave me (I repeat) lean more to that fact that he is indeed gay…(immaculate cleanliness, all those 'no's etc).

In another angle, he could be:-
a) metrosexual man who still hasnt 'opened the eyes' to women, or
b) ASEXUAL!

I rest my case.

Reply
cdohnio

How come every seems to know about asexuality except me? πŸ™ Anyway I'm personally puting my hopes in this order 1.Metrosexual 2.Asexual and lastly Gay. I'd be shocked if he was the last one though.Oh and he'll see your comment so I'm hoping he's really thinking about it…

Reply
deadly_halo

There's nothing wrong with him, it's all a matter of preferences, believe it or not, not everyone's world revolves around sex, however, the last question either depicts that he is strong of character or something else or he was simply lying. If I were to be asked those questions I guess that I might answer them in the same way.

Reply
cdohnio

Oh deadly_halo don't even lie to me!! Are you trying to tell me you wouldn't do Angelina Jolie and Kim Kardashian? Nkt!! Liar:)!!! And everything doesn't revolve around sex! There's also money:)HAHAHAHA!!

Reply
joliea

Well, you can hope whatever you want but in the end, he will chose to be himself. Regardless of what anyone thinks!

I wouldn't be surprised if he's more of no.3 than no.1! Asexual peeps are EXTREMELY rare!

Reply
cdohnio

I hope what ever he is I hope he knows I'm here for him, no matter what and he has the couragenot to care what anyone says!

Reply
Mousse013

So because someone doesn't like Kim or Angelina,he's wrong?That'd be rushing to bias conclusion…is it not possible to not give a damn about them?Put it this way,there's a reason why you have a brain of your own and that's for you to pick what you do or do not like,regardless of the implications.

Reply
Sgyreju

Well, I'm asexual, as I told you on Twitter. Asexual people are not THAT rare. I know rather well a dozen asexual people and have met about forty in all, thanks to online communities and blogs (and I'm only talking about peple I've seen in person here). A study suggested that one percent of the population is asexual, so everyone probably knows at least one asexual person (they just may not know them well enough to know that this person is asexual). Every day I see several people joining the asexual communities I'm a member of and writing stuff like "I'm so glad I've found out about asexuality, I always wondered why I was different, it's such a relief to know I'm not alone".

The definition of asexuality is "not experiencing sexual attraction" and that fits perfectly what your friend said about not having looked at a woman in a sexual way. Of course, yes, he might be gay too (although those stereotypes of cleanliness really don't matter – I know straight guys who are very neat and gay guys who are real slobs). He only said that he never looked at women in a sexual way; he might have looked at men in a sexual way.

Basically, if you're wondering what it's like to be asexual: apparently you're a straight guy, right? So you've never looked at a guy in a sexual way, you've never looked at a guy and thought he was hot and that you wanted to have sex with him? Well, I've never looked at anyone, guy or girl, and thought that they were hot and that I wanted to have sex with them. I don't even understand how one can feel that way about another person. I know most people do experience sexual attraction, but I just can't imagine what it's like.

I suppose that, as a straight guy, you don't think you're missing anything by not being sexually interested in guys? Well, asexual people generally don't think they're missing anything by not being sexually attracted to anyone. We can't miss something we've never felt. And we are usually really surprised that other people feel that kind of attraction and that it's such a big deal for them.

Here's the FAQ of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, if you want to know more about asexuality: http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html. And I'm willing to answer questions too if you have any πŸ™‚

Reply
Joliea

OMG Sgyreju!!

I am stunned! COMPLETELY STUNNED!!!!

Could this be copy-pasted to my blog and/or this blog? I am sure a whole lot of people would be shocked…I knew about asexuality but I never heard one giving a RLE like you, except for one article I saw on the dailies about a couple (male and female) who came together and married and are both asexual. As in they have no sex at all! (forgive me for that).

Indeed, to us (sexual people) its very weird. And somehow, people like you can come out and show the world that in general, there is nothing that is static. Heterosexuality is NOT the only sexual preference.

I am truly amazed. Please give me permission to have this on my blog.

Thanks.

cdohnio, Mwahest!! πŸ˜€

Reply
cdohnio

<Joliea! If you post this on you blog before me I'll never forgive you!! Kidding!! You do it! I think I'll repost it too! Let me just ask that if you do repost it you do a link back here? Please?

Sgyreju Thanks for coming out and sharing this with me! I can safely say that I hadn't heard of asexuality before I wrote this and even after it was like an hour before someone even mentioned it! I'm going to repost what you told me as a post on its own(with additional info ofcorse). Thanks again!

Reply
joliea

Well, you can hope whatever you want but in the end, he will chose to be himself. Regardless of what anyone thinks!

I wouldn't be surprised if he's more of no.3 than no.1! Asexual peeps are EXTREMELY rare!

Reply
Mousse013

So because someone doesn't like Kim or Angelina,he's wrong?That'd be rushing to bias conclusion…is it not possible to not give a damn about them?Put it this way,there's a reason why you have a brain of your own and that's for you to pick what you do or do not like,regardless of the implications.

Reply

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