Today I ask questions about God but before i do a little background would be good. My parents divorced some nearly 5 years ago. Since then things haven’t been exactly easy for my mum. She’s always been short on cash and can’t seen to be able to do much. She’s a very strong Christian. My dad has had smooth sail as far as I can tell, very well paying top job and new wife. He has lives quite comfortably. I’ve never seen him in a church or praying in all my life.

My mum believes that my dad will one day pay for the sins he has committed, and believe me they’re not small ones, that God will have the last word, that her blessing is coming. Well that last word is taking its sweet time to arrive! I’m not trying to be blasphmas or anything but there’s only so much time someone can wait.

When I was in my last year school I believed that God had told me that sometime soon after I left school that things were  going to change, that I’d find things changed. I prayed that year, a lot. I remember telling God that if that didn’t happen I was gone, for good, that I’d stop caring about obeying His laws and begin to live life on my own rules.

It’s been nearly two years since I told Him that.

Nothing has changed as far as I can see and the status quo remains the same. So what does that mean for me? Well I left God and all that behind for a time. I stopped praying at all, didn’t read the bible and scorned anything said in church(I still went because it’d’ve hurt my mum so if I stopped). There was even I time I would get so angry at the sermon that I wanted to scream at the pastor! I’d leave church those times.

But I couldn’t remain impartial to what I saw and I have a brian. I thought about it long and hard and decided that there was a God somewhere after all this a round us had to have been created by someone or something. Its all too neatly arranged too perfectly formed. But what i ahven’t decided on is if he cares? Or he just look down and think look about what a poor disappointment we turned out to be? If he hasn’t turned his back on us, why aren’t the murderer, liars, cheats and rapists been punished? But far more importantly why keep some one so faithful to him like my Mum waiting for His justice? After all that he’s not done do you really blame me for asking does God give a damn? Peace.

Written by Sidney Ochieng

Child at heart and mind. Feminist. Story teller. Fledgling data scientist. Your future boss

8 Comments

Wanjiru

God gives a damn! A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and so is a thousand years like a day. Do not be fooled, pay day will come for your mum – God always rewards the faithful. I'd suggest you be your mother's son in faithfulness too.

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kbaab

God listens and he answers prayers, in His timing. Be patient and like Wanjiru said, He DOES give a damn. He cares about you and your mum much more than you would imagine. Give Him a chance and have FAITH in Him.

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cdohnio

@Wanjiru & @kbaab I have faith in my mother. It's faith in God that's lacking, faith that he actually cares. Thanks for commenting guys this really helps a lot.

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Nobody You Know

God exists. That I have no doubt about. But I think he's sort of impartial to us. Yes, he created us (or created the beginnings of what would eventually be us) but I don't think he gets involved in our actual lives. No interference whether good or bad, you know? Everything that happens to us is self-created. And I don't mean we personally 'get what we deserve', I mean all the shit that happens is all man's doing.
That's what I believe anyway.

But if, for argument's sake, I believed that God loved us, then I would tell you to stop belittling him. We're human and God is above and beyond our understanding, hence the name. He is just and merciful etc etc and he sees your mum and has a plan and a reward for her. There's no need to falter or doubt.
Well, ideally.

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cdohnio

@NYK I've personal come to the conclusion that he does exist. However it's whether he cares that I question I admit though I'm human and he is infinately more powerful than me.

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babamo

Hi. It is very encouraging to see other Kenyans who are not afraid to question what you were told by others and what you see happening around you. I am a recovering Christian i.e. an atheist who grew up having superstition being rammed down my throat all the time but finally questioned and investigated all that I had been told and I finally 'saw the light'. Religion/dogma/blind faith has been used throughout the ages of man by the more 'enlightened' among us to enslave the rest of unknowing masses. I say unknowing because if you are born and brainwashed immediately (baptism, xtian name etc) then you will gradually be mentally enslaved and will see the doctrine as the 'truth' and everything else as false. Think it this way. Most formal education teaches us that the earth is a couple of billions of years old. We have proof of this because of a tried and tested method called carbon 14 dating. Dinosaurs existed 65 million years ago and left fossil proof of this. 99% of living things that existed are extinct (try Googling The Permian Extinction). You wonder what kind of all-loving, 'intelligent', blah blah blah 'creator' would create the most haphazard, life-unfriendly, entropy-based, place for his myriad creations. Then throw in a big story book (the bible is Hebrew mythology) and claim that that is his law for every living thing. How many of you have read Ezekiel 23:20 and wondered what pornographic material (if you translate it into proper English it would fit very nicely on a porn site) is doing in a 'family book.' I know we could ague about everything in the bible with xtians about it meaning 100 different things. One wonders why god had to make it confusing to everyone. Why not just write it so that anybody literate, of any class, creed or race could understand it. So lets put the bible aside (for now) and I would like this scenario answered.

SETTING:
It is post-apocalyptic (end of the world) heaven. Babamo (me) has passed through the pearly gates (luckily I had enough loot to bribed St. Peter) and finds people sitting around without a care in the world (are they sure they want to do this for ALL ETERNITY?). But first he has to find his family. Since everything is possible in heaven after a few seconds he finds out they are not there.
"WHOOPS!" he thinks. Maybe he should go back to the pearly gates and see if maybe they have been frozen but that rogue St. Peter. So back to old Pete. The conversation goes something like this.

"Hey Pete my man. I still have some mullah left for my wife and daughter to get in." Babamo whispers to Pete.

St. Peter looks around furtively and then hisses back, "Er..sorry old chap…er they are in hel…er the other camp."

"What other camp?" the naive Babamo shouts back. "Can't you transfer me there or them here?" he urges.

"Shhhhh." Pete hisses. "They are in h..h…he…HELL!" as he promptly runs into his watchman shelter and firmly locks the door behind him.

The heavens (literally) come crashing down on Babamo as it dawns on him that HE made it to heaven (ignoring the legal tender bit) but his beloved family was sent to HELL by the loving, all-knowing, blah blah blah… 'FATHER' aka GOD. So it seems he is in a HELL (pun not intended) of a predicament. Live for eternity knowing his family were going to be Nyam Chom FOREVER, while he gallivanted 'happily' in heaven singing praises to the murderous despot that sent his loved ones to you know where.
——————–
Somebody please come up with some logical explanation to the above scenario (no 'Mr. Psycho works in mysterious ways…' crap!)

YOU HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE. APPRECIATE IT AND START LIVING WITHOUT THE CLOAK OF FEAR HOVERING AROUND YOU.

Remember 99.9% of life that existed is EXTINCT!

Have a non-superstitious, lovely day everybody.

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kbaab

God listens and he answers prayers, in His timing. Be patient and like Wanjiru said, He DOES give a damn. He cares about you and your mum much more than you would imagine. Give Him a chance and have FAITH in Him.

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Wanjiru

God gives a damn! A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and so is a thousand years like a day. Do not be fooled, pay day will come for your mum – God always rewards the faithful. I'd suggest you be your mother's son in faithfulness too.

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