So yeah I need your advice but for I get into that let me show you a bit of an SMS chat I was having with a friend of mine:
Lilly: Hey you, now can you break the ice, I hate being anxious, it makes me miss me moments in bed
Me: Which moments in bed are these? Can I join you and see? 🙂
Lilly: My moments. I have a thing with my bed and we don’t need company.
Me: I don’t think it’ll b too hard for me to get in between you.

I have to admit I thought that last line was genius! I totally surpassed myself with that one and it’s difficult for me to impress myself, trust me. What do you think? Am I just being conceited? Let me know in the comments.

If you can remember I had this to say about dating. I still stick to what I said then. However being the heterosexual human boy I am I still find myself wondering and longing for the typical relationships that I see around me amongst my friends. Call it peer pressure or whatever it’s still something I want to experience.

However I recently realised after much thought that I have no idea how to go about getting a girlfriend, you know, asking her out, to be yours. That’s where I need your advice. Don’t get me wrong I’m not asking for pick-up lines or even lessons in charm and game, just the final step where you ask her to be your girlfriend or whatever. I mean is there a procedure, a method, or algorithm? A best way? Let me know in the comments.

I need a girlfriend with a body like this

 Oh, I know this is kind of sexist but I’d mostly really appreciate female voices in this. I don’t mean any disrespect to men but you may think you know what you’re doing but maybe you’ve been doing it wrong for years!! Still I’d like to hear what you have to say so don’t be shy. Peace!

Written by Sidney Ochieng

Child at heart and mind. Feminist. Story teller. Fledgling data scientist. Your future boss

10 Comments

savvy kenya

There is nothing like a right or wrong way, no formula for starting a relationship. Just let things flow on their own. I don't think that helps but then I never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month

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Sgyreju

From the point of view of a girl with one dating experience which was a very bad one: Don't rush. Take some time to get to know the girl and be friends with her before asking her to be your girlfriend – that way you'll be sure you really want to be with her and she'll know you well enough to know she wants to be with you (fewer disappointments later on).

After she has said yes: don't assume, don't take anything for granted. It's not because she's your girlfriend that you have unlocked all "rewards" in one go. Don't consider that because she's your girlfriend, you can do everything couples do together right away. Take it step by step. Fast if she wants to move fast, but step by step all the same 😀

Another thing: don't change your behavior once she's your girlfriend. Or, rather, don't adopt a new attitude now just to make her like you. Be yourself from the start – don't play a part in order to get her and drop it once you have her. Keep spending time with her talking or doing whatever activities you enjoy doing with her now. I agreed to date that guy because we had great conversations and he was sweet. Once I had said yes, all he wanted to do was make out all the time. We never talked at all anymore. I hated it. I mean I didn't hate making out but that wasn't all I wanted to do with him! (Especially as he was a really bad kisser and the one time I tried to suggest some improvements he didn't really try.) I'm quite sure you wouldn't be like that at all, but just in case…

Anyway, good luck with it! Keep us posted

Reply
cdohnio

Thanks Sgyreju, quite insightful, especially the parts of not taking anything for granted and changing my behavior. I know that once people start dating they begin to become complacent with one another and not spend as much time and energy on the relationship as they did in the beginning. I'll take all you've said to heart

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greatrnk

The only advice I can give is that you to run and hide the moment Lilly stumbles upon this blog. She will not, me thinks, be amused that you are sharing your (plural) texts with everyone!

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cdohnio

That's why Lilly is not her real name:-P I try never to use anyone's real names. Of course she'd kill me if she ever found out, but it'd be a long shot for her to find out she's not really someone who lives online

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pkenyan diaspora

Hey first time reader n I think youre brilliant. A guy who asks questions n for guidance is dateable. Many guys assume they know much. I don't know what you wrote earlier about dating but be very careful when selecting. Let it be a person you can see marrying. I'd say even pray about it n ask God to send someone your way.Good luck

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Princess!!

whadup?? so now…. talk it out…. talk it out… define things . be on the same page. I bumped into this post at a very timely season. This boy Ive been kinda going out with is not talking to me… because he found out in my head he was not my boyfriend exclusively… not that Im going out with other people bt we were not on the same page… thing is. I didnt know when we transitioned… so just be frank about it saves you a lot of trouble believe me:):):):)

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cdooh

Thanks for the compliment!! It's been a while since anyone has called me brilliant!! Thanks for the advice!! Hope to see you around!

Reply

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