Now I feel like writing, but what about tomorrow? How will I feel then? Today I texted Belinda and she was not amused that I told Victor about her almost getting pregnant. She says she forgives but doesn’t trust me at all. Perhaps her anger is justified but really its a bit of an over-reaction because she really didn’t say it in confidence, just in passing; and DAMN that shit was bloody shocking!!! As in WTF?? How was I supposed to react? How could she be soo stupid as to actually let herself be in a situation which could get her pregnant? In this era of condoms,contraceptives,e-pills and abortion? I told Ross and he, in his infinite stupidity, goes and asks her!! Well that leaves me with some serious serious anger!!! Unfortunately for Ross am plotting revenge!!!
Now what am I planning…a damning rumour? Or mess up one of his friendships? Or screw with his reputation? Am not sure… I can remember the last time I had this type of thoughts but I can’t remember why I had them. I remember I was even more mad than I am now! But no!! Our friendship endures despite everything. Even as I write this I can feel the anger ebbing away with every breath.
Now back to Belinda… She’s “the one that got away” due to my infinite childishness and naivety. And by the time I realised the opportunity before me, it was gone! I tried to make her feel the way I did but nothing! She had moved on. So then we depreciated from something more than friends less than lovers to just friends or even less.
I often wander if I’m obsessed with her. If I’m unable to let go, but I’m quickly discovering that failure to let go is something I do with most chicks I’ve been intimate with or have/had feelings for. But really, why is it I’m stuck on her? Is it that am just not one to accept defeat easily? Or is it that I like to end things on my terms so that I don’t feel anything afterwards?
Even as just friends we were still close as close possibly gets as boy and girl get as friends. But somehow over time we began to see less each other and talk much less. Well, recently I had decided to resuscitate our friendship to its old life…then this happens! Nktest!! But this is not the end of this story…. am not one to give up easily!!!
Now which would be the best approach? Chuck Bass style? Or just be persistent(nice guy act) ’till she gives in? Looking at the two options am thinking Chuck Bass would be the best way…Why you might ask why? Well lets review the options:
The nice guy act: This has some very obvious flaws.First,it strips me of any pride I might have(which btw is a lot, it’ll comeback).Second it gives her all the power to use and mis-use.Third she can total ruin my rep.Fourth you can never be sure wether she’s really over it as she might just want of get you off her back…Fifth I have very little control if she does crack…
Chuck Bass: First it could totally mean that our friendship is gone for good.Second it comes off like I don’t care making her conscious of approaching me. Third it could ruin any future relations with chicks in church.
5-3 Chuck Bass wins but I’ll keep track of how things are and decide things when I see her next!
I was watching Gossip Girl at the time and was quite fascinated with Chuck Bass -I’ve been told I’m so much like him, I hope I don’t come off as that arrogant though- he had effortless swag that I liked. Anyway what would you have done if you were me? Sound off in the comments. Peace!