So today I read something I wrote a long time ago about a girl I used to like. I don’t know why, but it made me want to write something else, something more. If you have not read this post then there’s no point on reading this. Go read it first (preferably) so you know where this is coming from.

So anyway, I was thinking about the situation with Belinda and how things progressed from there. Remember I had said that I would try to repair my friendship with Belinda? Taking back to the levels of closeness we once enjoyed? Well this is kind of a status report.

I can tell you that things are not good! In fact if I was to get a grade it’d be F–! I don’t know why. Well, actually, I do. Its because I really don’t give a damn. I’ve let it deteriorate, decline, slip, slide, worsen, go downhill, regress, retrogress; go to rack and ruin, waste away or weaken (Yes I know all these words but I used a thesaurus) and I could care less.

So why is that I don’t care? I don’t know. I wish I did and I realise that it can’t be healthy at all to think like this. I know what it’d take though to accomplish it. It could start with me calling her, finding out what she’s been up to, telling her how much I missed her and that we should hang out. She’d probably ask almost the same things that I asked her. After this call I’d probably wait two or three days and call her again and ask her when we could hang out.

I could do all this but I won’t I’m at a point where chasing girls I had crashes on doesn’t matter nearly as much as it did. I look at it like this: friendship is a two way street. I can’t I won’t be the only one struggling to repair something that takes two people to maintain. It’s not fair to me and I won’t subject myself to that. Not any more. Peace!!!

Written by Sidney Ochieng

Child at heart and mind. Feminist. Story teller. Fledgling data scientist. Your future boss

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