If you're a regular reader of this blog you should already know that my parents split about 5 years ago. I don't really want to get in to the details of what happened and how I felt in this post. But I do want to talk about something that was a result of that separation: my step mother.
I met her first while in boring school and my dad came to visit me with her. I remember wondering who she was and what she was doing with my dad but I was afraid to ask because I feared to find out the answer(I was, still am, afraid of my father and I didn't want to know that my parents were over). While I mauled (Is this correctly used?) over it latter during evening preps I wondered if it was he clande/mistress.*Anyone else feels that it was a really unfair that he never explain her and just brought her to my school where I couldn't protest?*
All that is besides this post's point. Today I want to talk about the relationship my brother, sisters and I have with her. Or rather how we behave towards her and what we think of her. Why am I telling you about it though? I don't know, do I really need a reason?
My baby sis, Agujuu, is now 8. Being so young she shouldn't really have the capacity for any sort of emotion towards my stepmother. (un)Fortunate she's extremely bright and perceptive for her age, I know everyone says this about their baby sis' but in my case I'm not exaggerating at all. I'm probably even understating it. While in her face Agujuu never shows any outward signs of hostility she doesn't like her very much. I think it's because she treats her worse than her own son (not overtly though atleast when I'm around because if she did I'd snap her neck, just saying) and because she knows that this is an imposter in our mother's place. She does however call her mum, the only one who does among us.
My kid bro, Ambros, is just 4 years younger than me he just hates her and shows it. He's rude and abrasive towards her. He doesn't show it too much though because he knows that she'll go running to my dad if it get to much and he doesn't want that. He behaves like this because he puts everything that happened with my parents at her feet. It's her who drew our father away and currently makes our lives so miserable. I can't say I blame him.
Mukade, my kid sis, comes right in between me and my bro. Her behaviour is the one that amuses me the most. Looking at them together you'd think they're friends. They laugh, talk and even share shoes sometimes. They actually spend time in each other's presence telling stories and stuff. But underneath it all my sis' attitude is exactly like my bro's except, perhaps, more intense. I think she's just looking for the tiniest thing so that she has a good reason to beat her senseless. It always makes me smile when I hear how she talks about her when she can't hear, lots of expletives.
Me? Well I just don't care about her. Not even a little. I feel nothing. No hate. No hunger. No nothing. I just don't think she's worthy of my emotion and I treat her as such. I answer her with mono-syllable answers. If she talks to me my next statement doesn't exceed 5 words. I feel that it may not be her fault my parents split. More than that I have a very good feeling she won't be very happy in her marriage for too long if knowing my dad and he's plans. I do feel she deserves whatever unhappiness comes her way not because I hate her but because I feel it was extremely unhonourable of her to get a married man. I just that's what I feel about her, that she's an unhonourable woman.
So there you have it. I've only recently began to realise how my parents separation affected me so I may be writing more about it. Also I guess at some time I'll write about my stepmother and her personality from my limited point of view. But for now this is all. Peace!!!
Sometimes we just don't realize how affected we are until sometime later. It's just yesternight my mentor was telling me my keeping things to myself could be a result of having bottled things in me and that affects me that I can be on fire and not communicate. On thinking about it I realized there are so many family issues that I have never dealt with. I have always thought they didn't affect me but now I know they did.
Youre right, thanks for commenting.Im only now realising just how badly I was affected
Oh my, how could he bring her to your school? Goodness! People have no heart (sorry i'm talking about your dad, but that was just wrong, oh so very wrong!).
I know!! And I don't mind that you're talking about my dad. If he's wrong he's wrong!!