I need your advice

So yeah I need your advice but for I get into that let me show you a bit of an SMS chat I was having with a friend of mine:
Lilly: Hey you, now can you break the ice, I hate being anxious, it makes me miss me moments in bed
Me: Which moments in bed are these? Can I join you and see? :)
Lilly: My moments. I have a thing with my bed and we don’t need company.
Me: I don’t think it’ll b too hard for me to get in between you.

I have to admit I thought that last line was genius! I totally surpassed myself with that one and it’s difficult for me to impress myself, trust me. What do you think? Am I just being conceited? Let me know in the comments.

If you can remember I had this to say about dating. I still stick to what I said then. However being the heterosexual human boy I am I still find myself wondering and longing for the typical relationships that I see around me amongst my friends. Call it peer pressure or whatever it’s still something I want to experience.

However I recently realised after much thought that I have no idea how to go about getting a girlfriend, you know, asking her out, to be yours. That’s where I need your advice. Don’t get me wrong I’m not asking for pick-up lines or even lessons in charm and game, just the final step where you ask her to be your girlfriend or whatever. I mean is there a procedure, a method, or algorithm? A best way? Let me know in the comments.

I need a girlfriend with a body like this

 Oh, I know this is kind of sexist but I’d mostly really appreciate female voices in this. I don’t mean any disrespect to men but you may think you know what you’re doing but maybe you’ve been doing it wrong for years!! Still I’d like to hear what you have to say so don’t be shy. Peace!