Building Confidence

The other day I was having a conversation with a particularly hot girl friend of mine. While we were talking, something that she said took me by surprise. She said that she isn’t really confident and she’s quite shy!

Well some short background info on this chick is in order. The girl in question is someone with whom everyone wants to hang out with; she has dudes calling her every so often; she models and has appeared in commercials. So with all these qualities, how is she not confident?

 In some effort to try and help her out I told her that I’m extremely confident. It may have come out sounding arrogant at the time but it wasn’t my intention. I just feel that I’m just as good as anyone else, if not better :D. I take the saying ‘you can do anything you put your mind to’ to heart. I walk with my head held high looking everyone walking towards me in the eye. I don’t think there’s anyone as good looking as me and there’s no one I can’t compete with.

In an effort not to sound like so gloating douche bag flaunting my confidence in her face, I thought I should probably give her some lessons in building confidence, or at least how I got mine.  I told her that when I was younger, I used to walk with my eyes to the ground (I mean you have to be sure where you’re stepping right?). However, one day I came across an article about how confident people walk with their heads held high, looking the world in the eye and I told myself, “Well, you’re a confident person, you should walk with your head held up.” And I forced myself to look up.

During the same period, I discovered that people really don’t give a fuck about you or how you look if they don’t know you. I learnt this after doing a little social experiment. I once went shopping with my sisters platform heels which just happened to be rainbow coloured. Now get this, while some people stared and pointed at me, most would just note that I was wearing heels and go on with their business. This made me realise that as long as your dressing is just passable, no one cares… unless they know you.

I wasn’t as confident when I was younger as I am now and thinking back I can’t really point to a specific time in my life when this changed. Perhaps it was the time I was on TV, long story; or maybe it’s the sum of several small things: holding my head up at the world, looking in people eyes or the fact that whenever I catch my reflection I remind myself that I’m handsome. It could also be the fact that I have the ability to remember the high points of my life without thinking of the bad. Or that I’m a great story teller. But maybe more than anything is that my dad and mum, especially, have always encouraged me to do anything, reminding me of my best qualities.

I’ve been thinking about this because I want to help my friend with her confidence issues. For me it seems simple but when I tried to explain it to her it didn’t seem as simple. I couldn’t really tell her how to become more confident but I did give her what I think is a solid starting point: hold your head up to the world. What advice would you give her if she was your friend? Peace!!!