Recently, two of my friends: one my best friend and the other a very good friend of mine from school; have fallen in love. Before we get more into that, let’s go a little into these two gentlemen.

My friend in school is what I would call every girls nightmare! In the morning or at night, he seems to be the stuff of their dreams. What I mean by this is that he always has a different girl in his bed at night and in the morning he kicks them out in some of the most remorseless ways I’ve ever seen. He once kicked a girl out by clapping his hands and telling her it was time for her to get lost. Anyway over our holiday he’s suddenly become a gooey eyed romantic. His face lights up when he talks about her and the smile he gets when he sees a message from her is actually a joy to behold. This is the very first girl he’s actually called his girlfriend, ever. And I’ve been there for many of his “girlfriends”.

Most people divide relationships with people who do not belong to their family in only two categories: friends and romantic partners. A specific set of expectations and “normal behavior” is associated with each category, and transgressions are frowned upon: One is not supposed to kiss one’s friends, or hold hands with them, for instance, but on the other hand, it is not considered “normal” not to kiss or have sex with one’s romantic partner.

Very often, people use the word “relationship” to refer to romantic relationships – just as they use the word “love” to refer to romantic love. It rather annoys me to see those words trapped into one of their specific meanings, especially as this specific meaning is not one I can relate to. So, be warned – in this blog, “relationship” refers to all kinds of relationships, and “love” refers to all kinds of love.

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I’m commitment-phobic. I couldn’t believe it, it’s something that has been having a subtle effect on all my relationships. I’m calling it subtle because I didn’t notice it but I’m thinking someone else may have.

I’ve always complained of how I don’t have a girlfriend and to realise that I’ve been sub-conscientiously sabotaging my own chances makes me laugh. Anyway so I did some research into it (Google/Wikipedia of course). The description I’ve written below is interspersed with commentary from me with how what I’ve written best describes me and how I’ve seen it in my life. These comments will be in brackets so don’t skip to the end hoping to see what I’m thinking.

This post is inspired by some tweets I saw in my timeline by shee_wanjiku. She was complain that one of her friends, a dude, didn’t understand that she just wanted a platonic relationship and not anything else. She was saying that dudes need to realize that just because a chic is nice to them it doesn’t mean she wants to jump your bones. There’s also I heard somewhere on TV “There’s no way a dude and a chic can be just friends” a dude told his date. I thought I talk about these things but in relation with what I’ve experienced myself.
I’ve said severally here that I’m someone who really enjoys the company of girls infact I can as far as saying that I have more girl than boy friends. I’m not entirely sure why that is. I’m by far more selective of my guy friends. I think it’s an ego thing I get from the company of girls.

“Sidney, why do you think a girl would fall bad boys?” she asked me as I escorted her back to her room at midnight. I won’t go immediately into what I told her or how that conversation went but I feel that question is the perfect way to begin this topic. It’ll make sense in a minute.

I was having an argument with one of my friends a couple of weeks back that started with her complaining of her ex-boyfriend. She was complaining of how he forgot her birthday. Apparently on her birthday he had to go to Kisumu to see his mum who was feeling unwell. Her problem with this is that he didn’t think to even call her to wish her happy birthday. He didn’t get a gift or anything and when she called him the next day he said, “I didn’t call because you expected me to”. This wasn’t the only thing he’s done wrong but I don’t really want to go into all that. The reason I’m mentioning all this is to point to what women want.

So yeah I need your advice but for I get into that let me show you a bit of an SMS chat I was having with a friend of mine:
Lilly: Hey you, now can you break the ice, I hate being anxious, it makes me miss me moments in bed
Me: Which moments in bed are these? Can I join you and see? :)
Lilly: My moments. I have a thing with my bed and we don’t need company.
Me: I don’t think it’ll b too hard for me to get in between you.

First, I’d like to apologise to you, my readers, for not updating this blog for so long. I don’t know why but I’ve been extremely lazy to do stuff recently. I have no syke for school or lessons. But still I promised more regular updates and I plan to keep that promise. I have a laptop after all.

Anyway away from that and on to today’s topic: The player’s wife. I have a friend; he’s the player (Kelly*). I have another friend (Dina*), she’s the wife. And why is this spectacular or note-worthy?
Kelly is the type of dude who on a typical weekend could bed 2 different girls and then not call or talk to them ever again. He’s a player and he’s not ever abashed admitting it to anyone who asks him (It’s weird that girls never think to ask questions until his already bedded them). He’s a nice guys to hang around and he’s one of my close friends here in uni.

And aromantic too! I really do! Life would be so so much simpler like that, atleast for me! I could be friends with anyone without becoming confused with destructive feelings and my pride bruised. If you don’t know much about asexuality you might wanna read this post here or google it. (I’d prefer you read it here thoughJ). Now let me go on.

I’m great with people and make friends easily. Most of these are of the female variety and I don’t mind that one bit. I’m friendly, charismatic and charming. And I believe I’m quite handsome (my mum tells me this too and she never lies). I have the gift to draw people to me. I like being the center of attention.

Hey y’all! Yes, I already have another post for you already! I don’t know how long this momentum will maintain but recently I keep finding more and more stuff to write about. Also I really don’t have to much to do in the evenings because well the assignments haven’t really kicked in. So for now I have much to write.

The other weekend my cousin, yes the one featuring in the last post and one before it, invited his girlfriend from home to school,with her sis, who he was trying to hook me up with.

I wrote this a while back but my phone mem-card decided it’s misbehaving and got a virus or bug of some sort and I had to format it. And this post was on it so I had to write it again which I’m sure it’ll not be as awesome as when I first penned it but know I’ll try my best.

So my cuzo came to room about a week ago with what I saw as both shocking and awesome news! The girl he was aiming for, the one I told you about before, had ingia’d box(That’s to say she was really feeling his vybe, hey half my audience is actually from the US). Yup she had been papped!!:-D Of course I was happy and proud because as far as I could tell at the time he was setting pace for all freshas. Most freshas are still keeping to themselves looking as confused and lost as ever.